“Girl, age 7, soccer ball” dangled somewhere from a local church’s Christmas giving tree.
Sprinting downstairs Christmas morning, I rushed to see if Santa came this year – he did! I gingerly checked the pieces of paper with kids’ names laid on top of a row of unwrapped gifts.
“Dominic, Mary, Martin, Joey, Eddie, Maria, Zack, and Greg” – but no Rosie.
Santa forgot me!
I ran upstairs, sat on the toilet, and started to cry until my oldest brother, Eddie, told me my name had fallen off of my gift. In his hands, he held…a soccer ball! Brand new, and just my size!
“Come in,” I said through soggy tears, and my brother walked in carrying the most beautiful gift possible – a soccer ball! Brand new, and just my size!
My face lit up as I jumped off the toilet lid.
“Wow, thanks!” I hollered as I ran outside to play with my ball in the cold, my heart warm from soaring with joy.
Last night at a school crosswalk volunteers appreciation party, the head of the giving tree at my daughter’s school announced a request for more gifts/contributions, sharing that one family had asked for “socks and underwear.”
Socks and underwear?! Oof. We never had it THAT bad.
Although I love the idea of donating in one’s own community, if you would like to contribute to the family at my daughter’s school that requested socks and underwear, let’s shower them with much more. (Link here.)
So if you walk past a giving tree at a post office or grocery store with “ornaments” requesting gifts for kids, and wonder if contributing really makes a difference, believe me – it does.
We have the power to make add magic to a kid’s holiday! The kind person who paid for my soccer ball sure did, and I’ll never forget it.
Honored to rep both 40-somethings AND mamas on this top-ten list, showing the world we can still mix it up with the best of ‘em! 💃🏽💪
Not to mention top-three American in a super stacked field…humbling! Feeling excited to race these incredible athletes again, starting this April! 🏃🏽♀️
Believe in yourself, put in the work, and JUST KEEP SHOWING UP! 💚
To feel pure and utter joy, untethered to a particular result or outcome – what a beautiful feeling. 😊
👉 I’m learning it’s possible to feel as much joy as we want at any given time. It’s not something we have to go earn; it’s a mindset we can cultivate.
👉 What a transformation from the deep disappointment I felt after finishing 7th place at my last world championship to the full joy I feel today after finishing 7th at Spartan Trifecta Worlds.
👉 We can WANT a different result (like I did today, before the rain turned my running trails into a muddy mess) and it’s natural to feel disappointment if we don’t reach it, but…we don’t HAVE to.
👉 Although I prefer to fly while racing, that mud slowed me down enough to see the the beauty of Sparta’s mountains, and the fistbump fist a volunteer held out for me after I pushed through a muddy set of burpees.
👉 It’s like after two days of intense racing, Life forced me to slow down to soak it all in and realize that, hey, I’m running (in Sparta!) the third longest I’ve ever run in my life and only the second time I’ve raced three endurance races in a row (and this time with my body holding up well, injury-free). That’s alone is a personal feat to celebrate.
👉 What a gift to someone always so focused on getting through a race as quickly as possible, focused on achieving a particular result – a chance to savor.
👉 To be able to hold both the pursuit of future greatness and full appreciation of present moment’s simple beauty in one hand…
👆It’s like 20 years of reading self-help books finally came together.
👉I’ve reached a finish line I’ve always wanted – a balance that feels just right…wanting more but not needing it for joy…an inner peace that can thrive next to my inner fire…
The people who told me I wasn’t disciplined or focused enough to be my best and hit my potential were wrong…
Back in my 20s, a coworker’s eyes filled with shocked when Tim mentioned I graduated from Georgetown cum laude. I had just pulled a big prank on the guy, crouching down behind him while he walked backwards and fell over me. He had trouble believing someone who goofed off could also be intelligent…
At both track and OCR races, I remember getting a negative vibe when I beat someone who had a more serious demeanor than I did. It felt as if they thought I didn’t deserve it. I was certainly putting in the work, day after day. My unconscious tactic for staying relaxed on raceday was to smile, laugh, chit-chat, and and make jokes. (Similarly, have you seen multiple-time Olympian gold medal sprinter, Usain Bolt? He’s a total goofball before his races!)
At the last Marathon Olympic trials, competitors were shocked that Molly Seidel finished top three in the because she was having “too much fun in the lobby”, laughing with her coach and goofing off, the NY Times reported. Somewhere along the way, I picked up on this idea that I wasn’t taken seriously (and therefore must not take my running ambitions seriously) if I was enjoying myself while racing, only to discover, thankfully, that for me, that is entirely untrue.
Upon reflection, I’m glad I didn’t win that race, or even come close. If I had, the lesson for me would be to continue to greatly reduce the amount of fun and laughter in my life and put on a serious, hard-core demeanor, spending less time doing things I enjoy and more time doing things that I thought would help me get faster, stronger, and more mentally prepared – that meant less time snuggling and watching comedies with my family and more time mantra-ing, visualizing, and analyzing races with a fine-toothed comb. (I did that, and I somehow still screwed up on an obstacle because it was built differently.)
Also, I had more physical setbacks pop up in the form of nagging injuries such as Achilles tendonitis and Golfer’s elbow, likely because my body was tight from an unrelaxed nervous system. All that left me with was a homesick racer, missing her family, turning down fun opportunities do do shows like Ninja Warrior, Wipeout, and World Chase Tag, with higher pressure to produce a particular outcome to “make it all worth it.”
I learned my lesson: do it the way that has worked for me for 25 years. Nearly every person I used to race track and races and even an obstacle course racing my first year nine years ago doesn’t race anymore. This could be for a variety of reasons, but those if you want I’ve asked have given the same reason as at least playing a large part: mental and emotional burnout.
I still have the desire, but I’m no longer relying upon that achievement to bring me lasting happiness. I can feel good in everyday ways that are more within my control, thus giving myself, as life coach and author Tony Robbins recommends, a larger gap in which to find and cultivate joy.
How does one do that? Great question! I just checked out every book on happiness that I could find. Doing some serious research…stay tuned.
Are we happy because we race well or do we race well because we’re happy?
Before the recent 3k OCRWC World Championship race, I traded in my social self for a serious one (big mistake – more on that later) and ended up running a sub-par race. Super nervous the day before? Super disappointed after? With over 300, trust me – this is NOT my style.
(I know that style is not emotionally sustainable, but something about turning 40 shifted my usual do-your-best, have-fun, don’t-get-too-caught-up-in-the-outcome race mindset that has allowed me to experience immense joy while racing for 25 years.)
Something had to change.
So, the next day, I sought out every baby, kid, dog, and weirdo in a costume I could find, and my mood lifted with every drool and barf-filled smile.
The result?
I lined up for the team relay the following day relaxed and feeling more like my old self again. My friends and I worked together, raced well, and had a blast! Mission accomplished. Oh, and we did win, too – but that was just a bonus.
