A New Mindset
The people who told me I wasn’t disciplined or focused enough to be my best and hit my potential were wrong…
Back in my 20s, a coworker’s eyes filled with shocked when Tim mentioned I graduated from Georgetown cum laude. I had just pulled a big prank on the guy, crouching down behind him while he walked backwards and fell over me. He had trouble believing someone who goofed off could also be intelligent…
At both track and OCR races, I remember getting a negative vibe when I beat someone who had a more serious demeanor than I did. It felt as if they thought I didn’t deserve it. I was certainly putting in the work, day after day. My unconscious tactic for staying relaxed on raceday was to smile, laugh, chit-chat, and and make jokes. (Similarly, have you seen multiple-time Olympian gold medal sprinter, Usain Bolt? He’s a total goofball before his races!)
At the last Marathon Olympic trials, competitors were shocked that Molly Seidel finished top three in the because she was having “too much fun in the lobby”, laughing with her coach and goofing off, the NY Times reported. Somewhere along the way, I picked up on this idea that I wasn’t taken seriously (and therefore must not take my running ambitions seriously) if I was enjoying myself while racing, only to discover, thankfully, that for me, that is entirely untrue.
Upon reflection, I’m glad I didn’t win that race, or even come close. If I had, the lesson for me would be to continue to greatly reduce the amount of fun and laughter in my life and put on a serious, hard-core demeanor, spending less time doing things I enjoy and more time doing things that I thought would help me get faster, stronger, and more mentally prepared – that meant less time snuggling and watching comedies with my family and more time mantra-ing, visualizing, and analyzing races with a fine-toothed comb. (I did that, and I somehow still screwed up on an obstacle because it was built differently.)
Also, I had more physical setbacks pop up in the form of nagging injuries such as Achilles tendonitis and Golfer’s elbow, likely because my body was tight from an unrelaxed nervous system. All that left me with was a homesick racer, missing her family, turning down fun opportunities do do shows like Ninja Warrior, Wipeout, and World Chase Tag, with higher pressure to produce a particular outcome to “make it all worth it.”
I learned my lesson: do it the way that has worked for me for 25 years. Nearly every person I used to race track and races and even an obstacle course racing my first year nine years ago doesn’t race anymore. This could be for a variety of reasons, but those if you want I’ve asked have given the same reason as at least playing a large part: mental and emotional burnout.
I still have the desire, but I’m no longer relying upon that achievement to bring me lasting happiness. I can feel good in everyday ways that are more within my control, thus giving myself, as life coach and author Tony Robbins recommends, a larger gap in which to find and cultivate joy.
How does one do that? Great question! I just checked out every book on happiness that I could find. Doing some serious research…stay tuned.
